I have shifted to the ashram since about eight months… And for me, it’s the most amazing place to be, in the whole world! Life just flows out here… Hours passby into days, into weeks, into months… One just doesn’t realize how time flies in the blissful state here! Its not so different from staying outside in terms of work… There is a lot of work and sometimes one spends nights, staying awake… Its not that there are no tough times… There are times where you feel so miserable that you think nothing life just cannot go on! But the difference is… Everything that one experiences here is magnified and intense… Every joy is intense, and every sorrow is also intense, because there is nothing that distracts the mind from the joy or misery… The other difference is that all the learning is highly quickened! The rate at which one learns here compared to learning from life outside, is really really fast ! No matter what problems come, by the evening, when one sits in the satsang… Everything is washed out ! Next day is a brand new fresh day, ready with new surprises ! Actually that’s it… Every day out here waits with new surprises! Actually that’s how one can have a life anywhere in the world… But one tends to get caught up in the outside… And that’s the difference here… One gets this practice of going out and then quickly come back inside… The ‘satva’ or the energy here is simply amazing! I see this place as a laboratory… Where one can experiment whatever one wishes to research about one’s own mind, emotions and tendencies…
A real life process that inevitably every full time Art of Living teacher enjoys in their life is the "Handling the parents process "! And I tell you it is really deep and insightful. Here is my version of the 'process'.
Luckily for me, my dad was cool... He always had just one stance... "If you are sure... Go ahead ! "... He was my only supporter... I feel so grateful for that !
All the strength, patience, and faith was tested with my mom ! I remember, each time anyone of her friend or relative asked my mom what her son was doing (generally)... My mom would become silent... She would almost cry ! Each time she would talk to me or meet me she would be in tears !! And I tell you its not easy to see that... When you see people who really love you so much, crying because of you... But then... If I looked at the reasons, why she was crying... they were " He has such a nice job & salary there ?"... " What will he do here ?".... " How will he survive ?"... " What about us ? "... " How will he take care of us ?"... " How shall I face my friends & relatives ?"... " What about his marriage ?"... etc...
Basically all these were questions that were mainly coming from 'insecurity' & 'herd mentality'... And that is what a large majority of parents in India suffer from... So, at that point all I would say is, have faith and all will be taken care off ! I would tell her, "You think I serve the whole world and no one would take care of me ? "...
While making my decision, the only thing that I was not too happy about was that, I thought that I would not be able to support my parents financially. After being placed in Holland, I had promised my parents that I would fund them for making a house... I told them they wouldn't have to worry about any luxuries... Now, I just had this doubt that what about all that... However, then I thought to myself that they anyway have everything they need, I would not be able to satisfy all their 'greed'... So what... After a few months at the ashram, my dad was retiring from Air Force... This question again came up... What about making the house in Ooty... Where would they stay... What about the income... What about a new job etc...
It is said, that when one walks on the spiritual path, all the merit of 'seva, satsang & sadhana' first goes to their ancestors upto 7 generations! And this is what I started seeing... I saw my parents prospering and blossoming in every way... Before dad retired, he had several great job offers. And the best one was in Bangalore itself ! My mother who used to feel so unsecured, specially about money matters, now had completely changed... As if 'abundance' had dawned on her... Actually abundance had really dawned upon our whole family... We had an old plot that gave us unexpected returns... Dad got a great job ! They bought a nice flat... and started building the Ooty house...
After all the fear, insecurity, crying, fighting, sulking... Finally my parents feel sooo proud of me now ! Earlier, if someone asked, " Your son has studied from IIT and abroad... And now, what is he doing... what is he going into ?"... She would just breakdown and would not have anything to say... But now, SHE tells people... " My son, although he is from IIT, he travels around the country and spreads happiness around the whole world !"...
It is said that:
In the presence of the sat guru;
Knowledge flourishes (Gyana raksha); Sorrow diminishes (Dukha kshaya); Joy wells up without any reason (Sukha aavirbhava); Abundance dawns (Samriddhi); All talents manifest (Sarva samvardhan).
And I started to see all these happening not only in my life, but with my parents as well !
For many years I had no clue what ‘Gratitude’ really meant. People used to talk about being grateful for what we have. Just look at people who are poorer then you would see how lucky you are… This is what my mom used to say…Frankly, it really didn’t strike me… Nevertheless I never discarded what was said… I just heard it and then forgot it…
The first time when it really struck me was when I did my 5th advanced course at the Bangalore ashram… Tears just rolled out of my eyes, my throat was chocked, and I was crying like a baby… While this was happening, my intellect was watching, and asking me “why am I crying”… I had no idea… I just knew that I was crying and my throat was chocked and I was feeling thoroughly ‘GRATEFUL’… Grateful for soooo many great things that had happened in my life… Although I had always thought about them but I had never felt like this about all those events! I used to think that all of them either happened through coincidence or ‘I’ had worked hard to get to that result ! And that was the turning point in my life… It was like a new life for me… As if I was reborn…
Although it was a big turning point but it was not the end, it was just a beginning of a new attitude in life… It opened a new dimension to looking at things and events around me… And now, I feel, in life, events are just events, but what matters is our attitude of looking at the event… We could see the same event and feel sad and miserable and we could see the same event and feel grateful… Its all on us, its all about our attitude… For example… Pigeon shit falls on our head and we could feel ‘ oohh why did it fall on me’ complaint and feel miserable or think ‘wow ! I’m the chosen one !’ or ‘ wow so good that it didn’t fall on the cake that I’m holding!’ and really feel happy and grateful about it !
Actually the attitude has two effects… One is on the present state of mind… One feels miserable or grateful in the moments during the event or some moments after the event… The other is on the future events that would happen… As the law of karma or the ‘secret’ says… What you think, is what you attract to you… So, if one feels grateful, one would attract gratefulness, i.e. more events that would make one feel even more grateful in future… Similarly if one feels miserable, unsatisfied, or lack, one would attract more events that would make one feel even more miserable, unsatisfied or more lack! And that is why the quote in the bible says “Those who have would be given, and those who don’t, whatever they have will be taken away”… It is basically talking about “having” the feeling of abundance, the feeling of gratitude…
However whatever said here, is very easy to say than to do it, and to apply it in daily life… Till the time I hadn’t experienced it myself, I thought that how can I fake a feeling… If I feel miserable, a sense of lack, a sense of inadequateness how can I fake it and say, I feel great, I feel grateful! However, one thing I follow sincerely is “ Fake it till you make it”… Being aware that you are faking and then faking is different from suppressing the current feeling and faking of another feeling… It is not about fooling yourself! It is just about choosing to be in it or not... And then sadhana, seva and satsang, has slowly but surely, changed the pattern of the feelings, or the attitude towards life!
It was 11 pm when I was standing all alone on the road side. I had two bags with me, a back ache, nowhere to go, dead tired ( my day started early morning from bangalore ), a flop 'YES!+ JAM' behind me, 15 participants in the next course ! Things were obviously not happening the way I wanted, but I don't know why, I was still calm and relaxed, deep within I had this feeling "AALL IS WELL"... I was feeling so sure that Guruji was with me every moment !
I called up Govind ( one of the volunteers who had dinner with me ), and he said he would do something. I would have waited for hardly 2 minute and I get a call from the Art of Living District Coordinator of Vellore... He asked me where I was and that he was coming by car to pick me up. He picked me up and we checked out some more lodges which were also full, and finally I stayed over at his office ( which had a bed and an attached toiled, it was pretty ok ! )... So stay was done... I was too tired to think of anything else... So, just crashed on the bed... Next morning I got up did my sadhana and called for a meeting with all the volunteers at the college at 12:30 pm...
I was there sharp at 12:30 and there was NO volunteer ! I waited for some time and slowly all the volunteers showed up... The expression on their face was as if a Tsunami had just hit their place ! It was as if the whole world was shouting at them ! They had to face all the people who were disappointed by the YES!+ jam... It was such a beautiful moment... All the knowledge points that were learnt in the YES!+ course had to be applied in real life in this situation... "Accept the situation as it is"... " Don't be a football of others opinions "... So after figuring out the learning and all the things that 'should have been done' and the things that 'should be done' in future, we moved on... Although it was not easy to move on... Because when everyone is at you, its very difficult to shun it away and move on... We played a very simple game, which made us realize that what ever we focus on, isexactlywhat we see! At this point of time this knowledge was sooo very applicable and it simply struck everyone ! So, we decided to focus on getting people to the course!
There were only about 15 people registered for the next course till that point... Even they were not fully registered... So I asked the volunteers, how many people at the course were they looking at... They said... 25 - 30 people course seems a good target! I said... No matter what you all think... When you 4 people had left the ashram, we had thought that we want to see like a 100 people course... And when I left the ashram I had just this thought that there would be 100+ people on the course ! I know that the situation is such, where realistically there is no chance of getting anywhere close to the number... We talk about miracles... Here is a chance to experience a miracle ! Does anyone want to really test out weather these 'miracles' really work ? Does anyone want to join me ? I didn't know how this really came out of me... I remember, just before I said that, there was an atmosphere of dejection and helplessness... No one could not even dream that a target like 100 was possible... I don't know how I said what I said... Those words changed something... The volunteers who were in the face saving mode... Turned around and were now getting in a situation of telling people to join the course...From not even imagining, everyone over there started believing that it was possible ! From no faith... Everyone started having faith... 10 of the 13 volunteers joined in... The 10 people started believing that it would happen with 100 people! One thing I learnt from this was that, when your own belief is strong, people just join you!
And then the question came... HOW do go about it ? Several ideas came up... Actually at this point 'Anjana' came up with this thought... 100 people doesn't mean that 100 new people should come to the course! There can be people who have already done the course ! Here you go... We had already started getting somewhere... We planned 2 introductory talks at the campus lawns before the course ( one that evening and one next afternoon )... I don't know how and from where... But people just came joined... Finally at the course... there were about 80 people who experienced the first long sudarshan kriya ! I guess, the reason for having that number was... still having some doubt somewhere... but nevertheless it was a great experience for me and all the volunteers altogether !
The participants had a ball of a time! Infact the whole course ended with a cleanliness drive! Everyone in the course got together on the last day and cleaned the front area of the college from plastic bags! Thats the whole idea of the YES!+ course... To empower youth and channelize their energy in a constructive way...
The idea of YES!+ JAM was conceived when some of my students from Vellore Institute of Technology ( Sanchit, Sakshi, Vibhor & Shubam ) met me at the asrham. We decided that lets have an event where lots of students come over to a place... They get some music, they enjoy and then join in for a YES!+ course starting in a day after that... They were finishing with their exams on 17th feb and so the tag line.... "End the exam with YES!+ jam"...
17th feb... 'Ishant' a brilliant singer from bangalore, a few people with him and me reached Vellore... The stage was set, and we were expecting about 300 people... Well, the program started with some film songs, but the crowd was still not moving... People started coming but were sitting faaaaar away... People were so stiff and sitting with this expectation to impress them ! At its peak there were about 270 - 300 people... But then they started leaving... I attempted to talk, hoping that it may stop them, but it was a mistake ! We started off a bhajan, and more people started leaving... Thats when I caught myself... I thought to myself... Why was I looking at people who are leaving! I should rather talk to people who are listening to me! So, I gave a short pep talk, and started a meditation ! By now there were about 100 people left... Then Ishant started with some bhajans ! And finally it caught on !!! People started moving & dancing to the tunes of Raaaaaa.....dheeeee.... By the end people were singing & dancing with the bajans and it was rocking! People were shouting for " We want more! "... Thats when I came back and said... more, in the next YES!+... Few volunteers came and shared their experiences about the course... Gave them a little more idea about YES!+ and called it a day!
At the end... I asked the volunteers, how many people registered for the next YES!+ ? the answer was 5 ! We had about 15 people in total who were joining the course and 1 day to go! Volunteers had worked really well for the YES!+ jam, and were tired ! Although the 'JAM' did end in high spirits ( with whoever was there till the end )... The volunteers were not in such high spirits ! Instead of coming with me for dinner most of them left for their hostel rooms... Actually only 2 volunteers (Govind & Sidharth) joined me... So, the 'JAM' band, the 2 volunteers and me had our dinner... After the dinner, the 'JAM' band left to return to bangalore... and the 2 volunteers also left for their hostels ( actually they were with me much beyond their 'in time' )... Thats when I realized, my accommodation was not arranged... The volunteers told me that I could go to the lodge where i usually stayed... So, I went there and it was 'jam packed', there was another lodge next door which was also full!
It was 11 pm when I was standing all alone on the road side. I had two bags with me, a back ache, nowhere to go, dead tired ( my day started early morning from bangalore ), a flop 'YES!+ JAM' behind me, 15 participants in the next course ! Things were obviously not happening the way I wanted, but I don't know why, I was still calm and relaxed, deep within I had this feeling "AALL IS WELL"... I was feeling so sure that Guruji was with me every moment ! To be continued....
Continuing from the previous post ( Ringa Ringa Roses )... I called up Ganesh... He sounded quite intense and told me that he had checked in the neighboring village, and also near the kitchen ! There are no flowers! Thats when I realized that it was NOT a prank !!! Now, there were hardly 20 mins and.......
Suddenly, I asked... what about flowers from Guruji's place ? He said.... " oohh.. I forgot about it totally !" He then called up where Guruji stays and asked 'Pursu'... Ganesh called me back and told me that Pursu will arrange, you go and collect... Now, to go to that place and come back would take a lot of time... So, I first called rajiv ( who was staying very close to that place ) who would go on his bike and get it! Then I thought... Why not, I only run and get it ! So, I called Rajiv again and told him that he didn't have to bother, I would just need his bike on the way back and I ran !
As soon as I reached there... I see Guruji in his morning walk dress, walking around... I don't know what happened but I felt shy, and hid behind a pillar... As I peeped from behind the pillar, He saw me and gestured me to come to him... As I walked up the stairs... He had both his arms open and gestured me to come to him... As I went closer... I started smelling fresh roses! He said... " oohh so you have come to take roses !"... and then hugged me really tightly... Then he said... "Am I not a rose ?"... I didn't know what to answer ! Then he said... "smell me ... don't you smell rose ?", he brought his arm close to my nose... and said... "smell... smell"... Right from the time I was walking up the steps I could smell roses and didn't know where it was coming from... , and now he was bringing his arm even closer and I realized where the fragrance came from! That was ONE experience ! Then he came to the point... He said..." hmm... roses kahan milenge... Ganga mein " ( where will we find roses... maybe in Ganga Kutir )... Just while he was saying this... Pursu ( whom Ganesh had spoken to... ) signaled that roses were just there ! And then... Guruji went inside, and Pursu followed him, signaling me again and again... Now, suddenly I realize I still don't have the roses ! I called up Pursu, but he wouldn't pickup the phone ! I went around and didn't find the roses wherever Pursu signaled... And then I met Ganesh... He was standing at the gate... The security guard was letting him go in at all ! He couldn't get through to Pursu ( who would have let him in by telling the gaurd)... and Ganesh was basically pissed off ! According to him Pursu had arranged flowers and kept it there... Pursu was also signaling that it was close by... But Guruji said... Ganga... Now, Ganga was atleast another 15 mins ! Ganesh also said that he had already been to Ganga, and it was closed... But then I thought... If Guruji has said Ganga... Then, I'll go to Ganga... The moment I was clear and we ( Ganesh and me now ) got ready to go to Ganga... One guy came running, telling the security guard to give the flowers... Apparently Ganesh was standing at the gate for 5 mins fighting to get inside with the guard who had the flowers !!! Thats when this thing got clear in me again... You just follow what HE says... and things will fall in place! Ganesh and me rode back to the course venue, where I handed over the flowers to Swamiji, gestured goodbye to him and left the room ! As I walked out of the place, I looked at the time... It was 6:21am... I figured out I would have taken exaclty 25 mins for the job!!!
As the day passed, I thought about all that happened that morning... I realized, that for the past few days, I had been really wanting to meet Guruji... And HE had been royally ignoring me! The day and time, where I had the least expectation... He met me royally! I opened my 'esatsang daily sutra' that very day and I read this: "All that you are craving for, all that you are hanging on to, it comes to you anyway, automatic. But you have to let go. You are holding your fist tight. Why not open your hands? And you'll see the whole sky is in your hands."
For the past two months I have been staying at the ashram! Every single day at the ashram has its own story and learning ! Here is one interesting incidence that happened recently.
Being in the "Events team" at the ashram, we are the ones who need to arrange all the requirements for various courses that happen at the ashram ( which includes right from fixing up a venue, providing sound system, water, a teacher etc ). Very often I end up conducting the morning Yoga sessions for different courses.
One morning I had a yoga session for the 'Blessing's Course'. But the more important and challenging thing was... The night before, at 11pm I got an sms from 'Alex' that 10 roses with stems are required for Blessings course at 6:30 am! My yoga session started at 6 am... I called up Ganesh ( another events team member )... And he and me obviously were upset about the 'timely' message... He told me to tell 'Bina' ( the lady who usually arranged for the flowers ). I messaged Bina, and got an instant 'sorry can't arrange' reply! I called back Alex and gave it to him and asked why he hadn't sent me the message earlier & why did he not send the message to anyone else from our team ? But then it was not his fault also... Actually my phone battery had conked off...
Basically, it was neither his fault nor mine... The situation could have been avoided, had he messaged to other team members... The situation could also have been avoided if I had got my phone charged earlier ! Infact the situation could have been avoided if so many things had happened or not have happened! Thats when I realized one thing... In times of crises, instead of looking for solutions, very often we start finding out 'whom to blame' ! So, I messaged back to Alex "Sorry, its not your fault... I'll manage somehow"... And thats when I learned another thing! If we take the ownership of a mistake that has happened, we start getting support... Prompt came his reply "Its ok... If there is any problem in the morning, let me know, I'll help you :)"... So, now I went on to seeing how to solve the problem... I called up Ganesh, he said that there are some people who come and sell flowers near the ashram kitchen at 6 am, and then he assured me that we'll manage somehow... That line gave me so much assurance, that I went to sleep peacefully ( I took that "we'll manage something" as "he'll manage something")... Next morning at 5am or so, I get this message from Ganesh " The time at which they start selling flowers near the kitchen is not sure... The flowers are not arranged !" What a beginning to a day I thought ! Then I started having this feeling that Ganesh is playing a prank on me! While getting ready to take the yoga session I made few phone calls here and there ( just in case, it is not a prank! )... Finally I went to wake up a 'Rajiv' who stays below my block... He gave a contact of another guy, who actually gets flowers for the ashram everytime... That guy told me that people near kitchen start selling flowers at 6... Now my feeling that Ganesh is fooling me increased! Nevertheless I told Rajiv that he would be the backup guy... In case everything fails, he would go on his bike and get the flowers from nearby village or city if required... one more possibility came up... To get roses from Guruji's Kutir... Now there were several options... I passed on these options to Ganesh and happily started the yoga session... I was still thinking that Ganesh would manage it ( All this while I was thinking that he is playing a prank on me and he already has a way to arrange it !) ! It was 6:45am and the flowers didn't arrive ! I thought, now the prank is getting too much ! 6:53am Swami Sadhyojataji ( The teacher of the blessings course arrived )... As soon as he entered, he looked at me and asked " Flowers arranged ? "... I said, "Actually we got the message only at 11pm, but, I'll just get it!"... He said " ok... 25 mins " and smiled... I said " Ya sure" with a smile... Now... I had no idea what was happening... I called up Ganesh... He sounded quite intense and told me that he had checked in the neighboring village, and also near the kitchen ! There are no flowers! Thats when I realized that it was NOT a prank !!! Now, there were hardly 20 mins and.......
Any guesses what happened next ? Next post is coming on tuesday (16 feb )...
Ps: Guesses only for those whom I haven't told the story :)...
An article on me just got published in Hindustan Times... Its nice to see one's picture ( although the picture here is with my bald head! ) and writeup in newspaper... I hope it inspires people to start following their heart!
Continuing from "Coming back from holland contd.."...The moment Guruji told me " India hi thik hai "... I had decided... I'm going to stay in India... Now came the part of convincing parents, brother & sister in law, cousins, relatives, friends, girl friend, friends of my parents, aunties & uncles!!! Basically it was the testing time of my faith & courage! I didn’t want to ignore anyone’s opinion! I knew that elders have much more life experience than me… But I had the faith in my guru also!
I had heard so many stories from so many people and they all said, that if guruji tells you something then you should really do it! There were people who had listened to him and there were people who hadn't. The people who hadn't, had stories of regret and people who had, seemed to be happy about their decisions.
I had absolutely no plans of staying back in India ! All my belongings were lying in Holland at my friend's places. I was to join my first job at Amsterdam. Every thing seemed to be 'secured' and 'sure' there. Over here, I didn't know where I was heading, what would happen to me, what would I do or how I would survive... But just one line from him 'India hi thik hai' gave me security...
If I look back now, hearts of hearts this was what I was waiting for ( Just one line from guruji!)... This was the first time in my life, I was about to take a such a big step. When I told that I'm not going back to Holland to my mom & dad, they were obviously shocked ! Dad was still quite okay from day 1 but mom was in a shock! My brother, although he hasn't done the Art of Living course was supportive, but was also in a shock... Dad 's stance was, if you are very sure then go ahead. Mom's stance was shut up, just go back and work ! Brother's stance was, how can you trust someone so much on the basis of just one line! He didn't hear your whole background he doesn't know you, how can you give up everything just on that one line !
No matter what I was going to tell my parents, relatives or friends... It all depended on the clearity and faith I had! There was this battle within me about doing what 'feels' right and what 'seems' right! If I looked at the reasons, why I wanted to go back... "All my belongings were there"... "I was getting a good package and all material comforts there"... "Thats how everyone who is 'doing well' is supposed to do!"... "Thats how I had been living all my life!"... "I didn't want be a rebellious youth"... All this seemed right... But hearts of hearts didn't feel right! I needed more courage to follow, this feeling!
Thankfully a month later ( 2-Oct-07), my brother, me and my father met guruji in Delhi... My father told Guruji "Guruji, he has gone mad after you. He has studied from IIT and done his masters from Abroad, and now he has a job abroad but wants to be with you." Guruji said... yaa... take a break... join later... My brother intervened and asked Guruji to tell me to do both, AOL and job... So then Guruji said... yaa... do both... you can to both... Then he asked when is the joining ? So I said november... He said.. ooh there is lot of time... then he looked at me and said " tu to bangalore aa raha hai na" ( You are coming to bangalore right )... I was like in a shock... I mean... I was going to go to bangalore for Navaratri... But how did he know... So I said yes to him... and then he left... My brother was like... He has given so many options... Basically you can do anything and he would say yes to everything!
I had great hopes from this meeting... But everything didn't get very clear even after the meeting... My brother was still not convinced... But just 3 days later (On my b'day :) )... I saw Guruji again... Although he totally ignored me till the end ( I felt worse than a wallpaper ! )... But just before leaving... As we were seeing him off... He stood in front of me and asked "Tu Bangalore aa raha hai na ? "( You are coming to bangalore right ? )... I said yes... He said... "Kal humare saath chalo" (Come to Bangalore with me tomorrow )... And that was my 24th B'day gift... An invitation to the ashram by His Holiness Sri Sri Ravi Shankar!!
I flew down to bangalore with him... Stayed at the ashram for a 1-2 days and met Guruji in his Kutir... I wondered what to ask him... So I asked him, weather I should quit the job at Holland or postpone... He started laughing! Everyone there started laughing...and then said... " chalo abhi ke liye postpone kar lo" (for now you postpone)... How gently he takes you with him... That was very easy for me... So, I told at home... I'm just postponing for now... Which was not so difficult to accept !
ng that one experiences here is magnified and intense… Every joy is intense, and every sorrow is also intense, because there is nothing tha
