Ashram a University for LIFE studies...

A lot of people ask me " Oh... so you stay at Ashram "... and the very next question is... " So you are not going to get married... People staying at such places don't get married right ? "...  " Ohh... you must be getting up really early and meditating the whole day ! "... " Oh... how do you manage your finances and needs ? " ... " Ohh.. What do you do the whole day ? "... Its almost as if I'm an animal of a rare species in the zoo... 

Well... The ashram is nothing like that... I thought of writing this post to so that people can appreciate the ashram a little better... How I see the ashram is like a University... A university where the subject of study is 'LIFE'... Like 'Professors' in a university, Swamijis or experienced Teachers share their experience to teach new people at the ashram... Equivalent of classes are 'Art of living programs'...  Ashramites are like PhD students doing their own research with the assistance of mentors...  Sometimes 'Visiting profs' or Guru's or swami's of other 'maths'/ organizations come and share their experience as well... 

My own body and mind is my laboratory... The whole day I conduct experiments by doing normal 'seva' activities, which for me at the moment is working with the 'Events Team' of the ashram... Events team as the name suggests is responsible for all the programs and events that happen at the Ashram right from planning, scheduling, inviting people to executing the event/program and taking their feedback and suggestions and then incorporating them in the next event/program... And in this whole process acquiring all the material finances for me and the Ashram as a whole... Material amenities and finances are essential and are definitely required to sustain life and one surely has to do something to get them... However, usually many people just get caught up in just acquiring these amenities ! The 'work' done here is more than enough not just to sustain me, but also many more at the Ashram. All this is the 'work' part or the 'running the experiment' part... Like in any experiment we first conduct the experiment and then take observations that is the 'Satsang' part... Where we all sit together, sing together, listen to knowledge, meditate and see how the spoken knowledge was applied or not applied in the day's experiment... Meditation and reading knowledge is like the self study part or the 'swadhyaye'...

As I spend more and more time at the ashram I have started to feel more and more aware of things both inside and outside... By becoming more aware outside I mean... becoming more sensitive to people and situations outside... For example... These, days very often I start seeing how the person in front is feeling,  thinking or going to say... Just a few days ago a friend of mine (also an ashramite) came to me and said... You know what... Looking at his face I simply knew what he was going to talk about and told him... He was just taken by surprise ( actually he was going to talk about something very different )! I knew the broad topic but not the nitty-gritties... These kind of things have slowly started to increase... Or sometimes I just get to know what is going to happen or who is calling on the phone or  if someone is remembering me etc... 

By becoming more aware inside I mean... becoming more sensitive to my own body, thoughts, feelings, actions and reactions... As one spends more and more time observing this, one starts seeing how much more there is to it ! As a simple example... If we just observe which nostril do we breathe from predominantly at a particular time, a lot of things can be revealed... Or what is the breathing pattern when we are angry, greedy, jealous or in some other state of mind can help us get out of it... Or a keen observation of food intake can simply tell us what food is right and what food has what effect... For example, I simply fast for a day in a fortnight... That whole day I observe the hunger and what effect it has on the system... How, I tend to become angry more easily when hungry, how my thoughts start changing when I'm angry etc... also, there is such a big difference in the way I feel for the next whole week after that !  

The longer one spends here, the more aware and more knowledge ( both about inside and outside ) one starts to get... After some time, one starts going outside this 'university' ( Ashram ) and starts to give 'guest lectures/public talks' ( knowledge talks/ pada yatras/ Art of living courses/ Satsangs ) to share with the world one's experience of 'LIFE'...

 All this is just a small glimpse of all that happens and that is possible here... Actually come to think of it all this can be done anywhere in the world and all the time... The difference is that this place is more conducive and ideal for this type of 'research' for beginners... A place where the energy levels are so high because thousands of people have meditated here over so many years... Where all the people have the same goal ( consciously or subconsciously ) but completely different behavior, culture, family background, habits, language, age-group and sex... A perfect example of harmony in diversity... Where else can one find so many saintly people together in one place... The food and the climate ideally suited to go within with more ease... And most important of all... This is the place where Sri Sri Ravi Shankar ( whom we can call the most knowledgeable in the research of 'LIFE' ) spends his maximum time in a year !

Come with ME...

I had heard so many stories about, how Guruji values love and devotion more than anything. He doesn't see what food he eats, but with what love and devotion that food is made... It doesn't matter how loudly you call him, but with what love in your heart you call him... It doesn't matter how big errors you make, but with what intention you make... It doesn't matter how big or small you are, but what devotion you have... But when he is with you, he behaves so normally, that one is not able to hold on to so many concepts and stories that one hears about and one doesn't even realize what happened !

About three years ago, I wanted to ask Guruji a question... The question was weather, I should quit my job or join my job back ( I had postponed the joining of my job )... I had been staying at the ashram for about 3-4 months by then... I was pretty happy at the ashram but I still wanted to make sure that I don't take a wrong step... So, that evening, he was walking, and he looked at me and asked me " haan kaisa hai ? " ( How are you ? )... I said... " Thik hoon, ek question tha " ( I'm fine, wanted to ask a question )... He said... " haan tum humare saath Belgaum chalo wahan set karte hain tumko... " ( You come with me to Belgaum we'll sort it out there )... I didn't know what happened ! I was obviously elated ! Slowly, as the fact was getting digested, the fact that GURUJI has invited ME to travel with him, started getting to my head... This is a very common phenomenon, when he pampers you, one feels YOU are the only one !!! So, I started becoming stiff and proud thinking that no one is so great as I am, and blah blah...

So, when the date to leave came closer, I had to book the tickets etc... The ticketing people asked me, that you get a confirmation from Guruji's secretariat. So, I went to one of Guruji's secretary, and told him to send the confirmation... He said, he would ask Guruji and send it... A day later, I meet the secretary, and asked him... He said... " Guruji said he doesn't remember telling you anything like that !"... That was it !!! I couldn't believe it... First I thought the secretary was telling a lie and he hadn't asked, but he seemed to have asked very surely ! Then, I thought, how can Guruji forget things ! He remembers and knows things that he is not supposed to remember also and here he is saying that he can't remember something that he himself said ! I started feeling helpless... I asked other people... Does this happen that Guruji forgets something that he says ? They said... yes... very often he does... I couldn't believe this ! I didn't know whom to believe... weather, to believe what his secretary told me, or what Guruji told me, or what other people told me... So, then I thought, I'll ask him myself next time... Till the time I got the next chance to ask him directly, all my pride and stiffness had completely gone, I had started feeling vulnerable, humble and grateful... So, when I asked him directly the next time, he said " Yes... yes... you contact swamiji " and left... Later, that day I got a call from swamiji that Guruji has asked me to go with him and bring this one guy along with me... That time I realized how he plays games ! Till the time, I was all stiff and proud, he had even forgotten what he himself said... I feel so grateful that he forgot it !

Thats when I learnt: every-time you become stiff and proud for anything... you loose the connection !

Coming back from Holland... contd..

At the end of my masters I had it all planned up for myself... My Masters would finish by August ( 2007 ), I would undergo the TTC -1 starting in August in India. Then I would travel around India doing some seva in villages, meet my relatives around the country, then come back to Holland and start with fancy consulting job at Amsterdam in November, start to work and do seva (I would be officially assisting courses!)... Even my stay at Holland was planned... A friend of mine from IIT Madras (placed in the same company) and me would share a flat ( maybe near some beach )... I was so excited about the plan !

I had applied for this TTC 1, beforehand, but due to some miscommunication, the last date had passed, my referee for TTC 1( who was the head of art of living Holland ), requested specially to guruji for me… But the answer was… ‘we’ll see later’… I was very determined to do the course this time (I was already called for TTC 1 when I was in Germany a year and a half earlier)… I arranged to arrive from Holland just a day before the start of TTC 1 at the Bangalore ashram… I met guruji that day, and told him “ guruji I want to do this TTC, I’ve come from Holland to do this course…” He answered me with a question… ‘ tu kya Holland se sirf isi ke liye aaya hai?’ (have you come from Holland just for this?’). He has this knack of answering questions in subtle ways... This question made me realize that how much commitment was he asking! I had specifically arranged to land on the start date for the course, but I was not in India just for the course! I told him this… and there was no answer! I was disappointed!

I didn't give up, that very evening I went to the ashram for the satsang… and guruji spoke about, difference between desire and intention (actually my father was talking about this that very afternoon, but I didn’t pay attention). He said that intention does not have feverishness, whereas a desire has feverishness associated with it… I was thinking to myself that if this course doesn't happen this time, I'm going to leave Art of living and run away and just then guruji says "A desire when unfulfilled generates a void, which could lead to anger, frustration etc"… Then he said, a desire when fulfilled generates an even bigger void since it generates an even bigger desire! I suddenly realized that I was simply being too feverish about doing the course!

I wrote a mail to bawa ( who was my basic course teacher ) after this, and he invited me for a chat… He told me, we need people like you… Stay back in India, and don’t go to Holland! I was in a shock... Suddenly I felt a strong urge to just do that! But when I told this to my parents, they were in a bigger shock! A few more days at home, and I was convinced again to go back to join my new job in Holland…



I registered for an advanced course as a compensation for TTC 1. This was the advanced course that transformed me! One of the last sessions in the course was about bhakti, that’s when I realized who my guru was… I was so lost all this while! Tears of gratitude rolled down my cheeks, and I started crying like a baby! Screaming and crying, I could not believe, that I could put up such a show! The intellect in me was saying... "whats happening?" but I just could not control! That evening… guruji was meeting all the participants… When he came in front of me… he was surrounded by a swarm of people, dodging through them his eyes looked directly at me and he said… ‘haaa…kahan tha tu? Kya naam hai tera?’ ( yaaa.. where were u ? what is your name?) …I was in a shock! I had never met guruji like this!! He then shook my shoulder and asked me… ‘haan bol, bol… kya poochna hai’ ( yaa go ahead… ask what you wanted to ask? )… Actually during this advanced course, I was again reconsidering to stay back and not go to Holland… and that’s what I wanted to ask him… He heard my question, and slowly moved his head and said ‘India hi thik hai’… That’s it!!! It was decided for me!

Now came the part of convincing parents, brother & sister in law, cousins, relatives, friends, girl friend, friends of my parents, aunties & uncles!!! Basically it was the testing time of my faith & courage! I didn’t want to ignore anyone’s opinion! I knew that elders have much more life experience than me… But I had the faith in my guru also!