Sunday, October 18, 2009

Coming Back from Holland ( Contd...)

Continuing from "Coming back from holland contd.."...The moment Guruji told me " India hi thik hai "... I had decided... I'm going to stay in India... Now came the part of convincing parents, brother & sister in law, cousins, relatives, friends, girl friend, friends of my parents, aunties & uncles!!! Basically it was the testing time of my faith & courage! I didn’t want to ignore anyone’s opinion! I knew that elders have much more life experience than me… But I had the faith in my guru also!
I had heard so many stories from so many people and they all said, that if guruji tells you something then you should really do it! There were people who had listened to him and there were people who hadn't. The people who hadn't, had stories of regret and people who had, seemed to be happy about their decisions.
I had absolutely no plans of staying back in India ! All my belongings were lying in Holland at my friend's places. I was to join my first job at Amsterdam. Every thing seemed to be 'secured' and 'sure' there. Over here, I didn't know where I was heading, what would happen to me, what would I do or how I would survive... But just one line from him 'India hi thik hai' gave me security...

If I look back now, hearts of hearts this was what I was waiting for ( Just one line from guruji!)... This was the first time in my life, I was about to take a such a big step. When I told that I'm not going back to Holland to my mom & dad, they were obviously shocked ! Dad was still quite okay from day 1 but mom was in a shock! My brother, although he hasn't done the Art of Living course was supportive, but was also in a shock... Dad 's stance was, if you are very sure then go ahead. Mom's stance was shut up, just go back and work ! Brother's stance was, how can you trust someone so much on the basis of just one line! He didn't hear your whole background he doesn't know you, how can you give up everything just on that one line !
No matter what I was going to tell my parents, relatives or friends... It all depended on the clearity and faith I had! There was this battle within me about doing what 'feels' right and what 'seems' right! If I looked at the reasons, why I wanted to go back... "All my belongings were there"... "I was getting a good package and all material comforts there"... "Thats how everyone who is 'doing well' is supposed to do!"... "Thats how I had been living all my life!"... "I didn't want be a rebellious youth"... All this seemed right... But hearts of hearts didn't feel right! I needed more courage to follow, this feeling!

Thankfully a month later ( 2-Oct-07), my brother, me and my father met guruji in Delhi... My father told Guruji "Guruji, he has gone mad after you. He has studied from IIT and done his masters from Abroad, and now he has a job abroad but wants to be with you." Guruji said... yaa... take a break... join later... My brother intervened and asked Guruji to tell me to do both, AOL and job... So then Guruji said... yaa... do both... you can to both... Then he asked when is the joining ? So I said november... He said.. ooh there is lot of time... then he looked at me and said " tu to bangalore aa raha hai na" ( You are coming to bangalore right )... I was like in a shock... I mean... I was going to go to bangalore for Navaratri... But how did he know... So I said yes to him... and then he left... My brother was like... He has given so many options... Basically you can do anything and he would say yes to everything!

I had great hopes from this meeting... But everything didn't get very clear even after the meeting... My brother was still not convinced... But just 3 days later (On my b'day :) )... I saw Guruji again... Although he totally ignored me till the end ( I felt worse than a wallpaper ! )... But just before leaving... As we were seeing him off... He stood in front of me and asked "Tu Bangalore aa raha hai na ? "( You are coming to bangalore right ? )... I said yes... He said... "Kal humare saath chalo" (Come to Bangalore with me tomorrow )... And that was my 24th B'day gift... An invitation to the ashram by His Holiness Sri Sri Ravi Shankar!!

I flew down to bangalore with him... Stayed at the ashram for a 1-2 days and met Guruji in his Kutir... I wondered what to ask him... So I asked him, weather I should quit the job at Holland or postpone... He started laughing! Everyone there started laughing...and then said... " chalo abhi ke liye postpone kar lo" (for now you postpone)... How gently he takes you with him... That was very easy for me... So, I told at home... I'm just postponing for now... Which was not so difficult to accept !