After a reeeaaaallllyyy long time I got angry a few weeks ago! This was a very special anger, since I was also observing myself during the phase of anger. I was caught going out from the railway station. Platform tickets have been stopped from being issued these days at New Delhi RS ( Railway Station). So, I was supposed be to carrying a train ticket.
The TCE caught me, and told me to stand on one side. I was in a hurry, and I made gestures of just running off. The TCE got even more pissed off! He started holding me by my collar. So, I also started speaking loudly. That’s it! I had lost it! I could observe, that my energy levels ( prana ) had increased and I had become feverish. I was not in control of myself. In this state, my intellect would tell me to do certain things, but my ego would tell me to do something else. There was so much feverishness. I just could control what I wanted to say and what I wanted to hold back. It was as if I was drunk! No control of my self. In midst of the struggle I had made a phone call to a friend who was outside the station and told her to buy tickets and come. Now came the best part. She came up with the ticket and handed it over to me. Now, the TCE had no proof that I was ticket less! So, I Challenged the TCE .. “ab tum mera kuch nahi kar sakte” ( you can’t do anything to me now ). That was enough to pinch the TCE’s ego! He said… “Bahut shaana ban raha hai.. Tera to memo nikalta hoon” ( acting very smart… I’ll get u a memo .. memo is some kind of reporting to the police thingy, which meant sitting in jail for the night! ). He held me and took me to the station master’s office… The thing about anger is that when one is in this state, consequences are not seen, there is so much energy and kind of valor that in that moment one is ready to face anything! So, it continued even there… but soon, probably my intellect had won, and I thought to myself that… okay I don’t want to waste more time ☺… I heard my friends telling me to keep quite (actually they had been saying to keep quite for quite long, but only now it registered… I thought… ok… lets give it a shot)… So, I just stayed quite inspite of severe urges to just speak and shout and give gyan etc etc… Not surprisingly… as soon as I shut up… The TCE started listening to my friends and his colleagues… Now suddenly from making a Memo, to fining the 2 of us, it settled to just giving one fine… Had I shut up little earlier it probably would not have been even that ☺… Nevertheless… I totally enjoyed the sudden surge of energy… Even after the ‘fight’ the energy levels were really high in me… The only thing was that… there was feverishness along with it which made me loose control of my actions!
8 comments:
An angry Vishal is something that would certainly be an interesting sight..
but im nodding my head and smiling at the fact that you have been able to identify and demarcate the stages that you went through while you were in that state of mind and situation.
thats the best way to assess ourselves and not all of us can do it because we forget everything when we are at a heightened emotional state.
very well written as always...
:-)
PS: i believe that it is all right as well as essential to be angry as long as it is not a tidal wave that carries you away and drowns you..
lolz...well,i hv only seen u smiling so far:)
Anger will increase man..
Some experts say, that only if you bottle it up, or "digest" it most of the times, only then it explodes.
Perhaps, I wouldn't know much, but I can only give you a point to ponder, is that perhaps you're actually a bit more angrier/sterner/ruder in normal days and times, but you sweeten yourself up a bit consciously.
If you wanna control your anger, you need to be used to it. You need to release your anger more often and then try to watch and make sure that it doesn't fill up your intellect.
I know.. cuz my emotions just fill my intellect all the time.. I'm 10 times in a worse situation than you.
But because of that, I am used to "being able to" think as rationally as I can while under stress.
Guru ji will ensure that we reach beyond the ego level and meet HIM ;)
anger is like a slide dost.. u must remember me being the angry types.. but once u are angry u loose rationality.. and rationality gives u the middle path.. the path of neutrality towards the world..there is another method ..i have thought of to control this ..control ur heart beat.. anytime u are excited ur heart beat tends to increase .. pulse rate seems to increase or drop .. so if u can make an exericise to control this..this will help.. another is the sage technique which is trully hard.. and involves stillness and being one with nature..the idea is to stop moving .. the animal instinct is to move and that is inherent in all of us.. so we can keep still we increase the harmony of physical spiritual and natural sense .. and be calmer.. write to me.. ur views dost..
A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?'
Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.'
'But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?'
Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint.
Finally he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.'
Then the saint asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...'
The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens?
They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'
MORAL: When you argue, do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.
ohhh.....nw i m really scared of you....coz i have only seen u smiling so far.....lolzzzz.....just thought of sharing this beautiful story with you...hope u will like it.. :) jai gurudev
Wow... really amazing naration, i felt as if I was there watching the event... Would have been a wonderful experience...
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